Deployment and everything after: trip to baghdad

This past weekend Jeff and I went down to Baghdad for a conference. The conference was a medical conference geared towards PAs and NPs so most of the presenters were PAs (I don't think there are very many NPs in the military, at least not in the Army). Jeff and I were notified by the powers to be that we were to be two of the presenters. So we spent several days constructing our talks into the most perfect powerpoint presentations this side of the world has ever seen or heard. We submitted them on time via one of our platoon leaders, 1Lt Ashley Clifton-Mason, who had been in contact with "the powers to be". She told us the next day she received an email from them and they (the infamous they) had no idea why we were submitting talks. What the heck! This came from the same dude that told her we needed to submit talks for the conference. Is that guy a complete retard? Dumb captains. They don't know what they are supposed to be doing. You give them a little responsibility and they screw it up.
So, he basically canceled our talks the day before we leave for the conference. I was ticked off!

We got into Baghdad the night before the conference started so we decided to go ahead and check in early. Pretty reasonable right? Well, the conference is in the Al Faw Palace, history of it later, and the palace is surrounded by a man made lake. So, there's obviously a bridge that you have to cross to access the palace. Check in for the conference was inside the palace (across the bridge). The catch 22 was in order to cross the bridge to enter the palace you had to have a special ID badge (badges we don't need no stinkin' badges) or someone with an ID badge who would have to chaperon you into the palace. Sounds pretty simple right? Well, we obviously didn't have any stinkin badges, and we did not have a chaperon. So we approached the gate and told them we were here to check in to the conference. The gate guard, a Ugandan, said we needed an ID badge. We said we don't have one so how do we get one. He said you need to check in to the conference and get one. Do you see where this is going? Next comes the chaperon part and we obviously don't know anyone and you guessed it he said we need to get someone from the inside...is this an episode of the Twilight Zone? Hello, do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? We are stuck in this catch 22 with this Ugandan guard. And to answer the question that I know is twirling around in you head, yes if there was an intelligent person putting on this conference then should have put a sign at the gate telling us how to check in. But no there was no one like that putting this thing together. We were finally able to stop someone, an American, who helped us get in and get our badges. Wow, that was painful. So now Jeff and I are pretty upset with our lectures getting bumped and spending 30 minutes in the twilight zone only to find out that the conference schedule was put together by what seemed to be either a complete idiot or the Ugandan guard. I am not sure which one. I had mentioned our lectures were bumped right? Well, it seems that orthopedics is not that important in the combat setting or at a conference for medical providers in a combat zone because there was no a single topic on orthopedics! BUT it would seem that the military working dog and dental blocks and the computer system we log our charting in (which we get training for prior to coming out here) is more important than common orthopedic problems in a COMBAT ZONE. Can you tell I am still mad? I am trying to think of my happy place...

So, Jeff and I, including our company's dentist that came along for the joy ride, tried to sit through the first morning of lectures. I think they covered diarrhea, acute abdomen and dental blocks. Boring, relevant, boring!!! We gave it the good ol' college try but with that schedule there were too many things to see and do. So we were off. Off to view these palaces that Saddam Hussein had built for himself and the Baath party.